HaBO: Rookie Cop Heroine & Crush Detective Hero
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Articles / January 14, 2020

This HaBO is from Brittani who is trying to find this contemporary romance with perhaps some suspense elements: This is one of the very first romance novels I remember ever reading and it was fairly contemporary. A female rookie cop reunites with an old crush she grew up knowing from their old neighborhood who’s now a detective. Their first meeting as adults is awkward for her since one of her first assignments was to help catch johns and she’s wearing clothes to fit that role. Somehow they get involved in a case together and have to solve a crime while revisiting some past secret that stopped them from getting together when they were young adults. Can we solve this HaBO?

Love Her or Lose Her by Tessa Bailey
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Articles / January 14, 2020

B- Love Her or Lose Her by Tessa Bailey January 14, 2020 · Avon Romance Love Her or Lose Her is a contemporary romance between a married couple on the verge of divorce. Dominic and Rosie started dating in middle school and are now married adults. They have no kids or pets. Dominic finished a military deployment overseas and is working in construction. Rosie works at a department store and dreams of opening her own restaurant. Frustrated by Dominic’s failure to communicate anything to her other than lust (every Tuesday night), Rosie moves out, but Dominic will do anything to win her back, even attend marriage counseling with a hippie therapist. This book succeeds because of the warmth and empathy it extends to its characters. Armie, the therapist, is both funny and perceptive. Dominic is a type of character I don’t often read about in a romantic context, one who struggles with toxic masculinity but also has positive traits and wants to do right by his wife. He was raised by a quiet man who demonstrated that the way to show love for one’s family is to provide, so Dominic focuses on providing at the cost of communicating with Rosie…

Pride & Prejudice, a Mystery, and More
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Articles / January 13, 2020

The Kiss Quotient RECOMMENDED: The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang is $1.99! I’m not sure this has ever been on sale, so grab this one while you can. We had a wonderful guest squee of this and it was my favorite read of 2018: I truly loved this book. Loved. It made me feel like a champagne bubble – all fizzy and light. When I think of all the magical feelings romance gives its readers, I will forever think of this book. A heartwarming and refreshing debut novel that proves one thing: there’s not enough data in the world to predict what will make your heart tick. Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases–a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old. It doesn’t help that Stella has Asperger’s and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice–with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. The Vietnamese and Swedish stunner can’t afford to…

Adam & Eve: Valentine’s Day Goodies
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Articles / January 13, 2020

This post is being sponsored by AdamandEve.com and they’ve offered us a coupon code for the Bitchery! Here is the most important information: AdamandEve.com is offering Smart Bitches readers 50% off a single item plus free standard shipping in the US and Canada with code SMART. Please note: certain exclusions apply, but the coupon covers most of the store. If you’d like to see some of the toys we’ve featured in previous posts, check out our Adam & Eve tag! Celebrate Valentine’s Day alone or with a partner with the following fun and sexy things! This post is extremely NSFW! You have been warned! … Cocksicle Popsicle Vibrator – $59.95 $35.97 – 40% off SMART coupon! Aren’t these adorable? These vibrators come in a variety of three colors. These are USB rechargeable and can operate for up to an hour on a full charge. They also have ten different vibration patterns! … Eve’s Twisted Crystal Dildo – $29.95 $14.98 with SMART coupon! This glass dildo comes with a texture red swirl for added sensations. The handle is a dang apple! For those unfamiliar with these types of toys, the can be warmed or chilled for a little something extra in…

Cover Snark: A New Kind of Cabbage Patch
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Articles / January 13, 2020

Hi there! Do you need some Cover Snark? I think you need some Cover Snark! From Skye: What the heck is going on with this dress??? Sarah: I have many questions, not the least of which is whether that dress qualifies as a vegetable. Tara: Yes, much cabbage. Very healthy. Amanda: For some reason, it reminds me of a toilet paper cozy. Sarah: Leafy greens FTW Shana: My first thought was a labia. Maybe this cover is trying to show us the wide range of labial diversity? Sex educators could use her skirt to help people learn that there is no “normal” or “perfect” vulva. Sometimes you look like a cabbage, and that’s OK. Claudia: Amanda, it’s the ruffle edge and minty color! A Cabbage Patch doll all grown up… Tara: Shana, I’m never going to look at cabbage the same way again. Carrie: I was about to say that actually I rather like it but now I can’t un-see the cabbage, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Tara: I suppose it could almost be the not curly kale, but the colour isn’t quite right… Susan: I’m trying to work out how it’s supposed to stay up. Like, it doesn’t look like…

Cowboys, a Circus, and More
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Articles / January 12, 2020

Iron and Magic Iron and Magic by Ilona Andrews is $2.99! This is the first book in a new series by Andrews and features a hero who was a bit of a villain in the Kate Daniels series. I’m on the fence on whether this can be read without finishing Kate Daniels. Any experts care to weigh in? No day is ordinary in a world where Technology and Magic compete for supremacy…But no matter which force is winning, in the apocalypse, a sword will always work. Hugh d’Ambray, Preceptor of the Iron Dogs, Warlord of the Builder of Towers, served only one man. Now his immortal, nearly omnipotent master has cast him aside. Hugh is a shadow of the warrior he was, but when he learns that the Iron Dogs, soldiers who would follow him anywhere, are being hunted down and murdered, he must make a choice: to fade away or to be the leader he was born to be. Hugh knows he must carve a new place for himself and his people, but they have no money, no shelter, and no food, and the necromancers are coming. Fast. Elara Harper is a creature who should not exist. Her enemies call her Abomination; her…

Discussion Question: Show Us Your Pets!
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Articles / January 12, 2020

Look, it’s time for puppies and kittens and pets and adorableness. Aarya asked if we could do a post of everyone’s pets, and I thought that was a marvelous idea. PETS! Let’s do this! Ellen:  This angry christmas boy is Boo Radley, the family cat. He only loves one person and it is not me. His primary mode of communication is the chirp and he cannot bear going to the basement to use his litter box if ANYONE acknowledges his presence when he is on his way there. Amanda: “DON’T LOOK AT ME I NEED TO POOP.” Charlotte: This is Archibald Angus McDog. He loves car rides, carrots, biting larger dogs on the butt, and eating gross chicken wings he forages from the street, and he is VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU. Elyse: This is Dewey. He is extremely smart and handsome. If he were a person he would be a gentleman detective. This is Fish and Chips. They are 2 years old (Fish – R) and 5 mos (Chips – L) and are partners in crime and best buds: Charlotte: Dewey has a good face for (gentlemanly) interrogations. Elyse: Also Fish and Chips: Ellen: much surprise! wow! Maya: Here’s my sweet boy Bucket….

Kickass Women in History: Malalai of Maiwand
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Articles / January 11, 2020

Many of us today know of Malala Yousafzai, the Pakastani activist for women’s education. This month’s Kickass Women is in honor of her namesake, Malalai of Maiwand (1861-1880). Malalai was a heroine in the Afghanistan rebellion against the British in the Second Anglo-Afghan War. This war, which lasted from 1878 to 1880, involved Afghanistan’s attempt to prevent British colonization. Malalai’s story involves the fight against colonialism, women at war, and the power of romantic poetry as a form of resistance. Malalai was born in Khig, a small village near the larger community of Maiwand. When the Battle of Maiwand began, her father, a shepherd, and her fiancee joined the ranks of Afghans fighting the British. Malalai was there to provide support to troops by supplying nursing care, water, and weapons. According to legend, the battle took place on what was to be her wedding day. When the Afghans began to fall back, Malalali grabbed a flag (some say she used her veil) and shouted this landay: “Young love! If you do not fall in the battle of Maiwand, By God, someone is saving you as a symbol of shame!” As the battle intensified she took the place of the lead…

Whatcha Reading? January 2020 Edition, Part One
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Articles / January 11, 2020

It’s our first Watcha Reading of the year! I hope you’re all excited to talk about books! Tara: I’m reading Polaris Rising because Amanda said on the podcast that it’s amazing and, well, it’s definitely amazing. I’m also listening to 30 Dates in 30 Days by Elle Spencer, ( A | BN | K | AB )which is a pretty cute f/f romance. It has a lawyer who wants to find love and is reluctantly talked into going on (you guessed it) 30 dates in 30 days, and ends up most attracted to the bartender, who’s declared she doesn’t do relationships. They’re currently in denial about their feelings and I’m looking forward to seeing how it resolves. Catherine: I’ve just finished reading Artistic License by Elle Pierson (Lucy Parker’s first pseudonym). It’s sweet and funny and comforting, but I can really see how she has developed since then. And I’m alternating fiction reading with reading my way through Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat, which is not so much a cookbook as a masterclass in the fundamentals of flavour. I’m really enjoying her writing style, which is lively and friendly and personal, as well as the little bits of…

Where Does RWA Go From Here?
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Articles / January 10, 2020

As of today, January 10, 2020, here’s where we are with the implosion of RWA: Damon Suede has (finally) resigned… after the recall petition filed by C. Chilove, the President of CIMRWA, Laurel Cremant, President-Elect, and Diana Neal, Treasurer, was certified and after every major publisher pulled out of RWA Nationals Executive Director Carol Ritter also resigned, except according to RWA’s January 9 statement, she’s staying on to assist with transition to new leadership. Overall, to some extent, it seems a growing pressure has finally released a bit. That pressure didn’t need to build as much as it did. All of this, from the ethics censure of Courtney Milan to every instance of discrimination and occlusion could have been addressed two weeks ago. So things are sort of resolved: we got the first thing we asked for (repeatedly) which was that Suede step down and the leadership take some responsibility for the mess. They sort of did, and I think that is part of what makes this semi-resolution so unsatisfying for me. There’s a lot of “sort of” in the RWA statement, too. There’s the continued presence of many of the people who contributed to the mess in the first…