The Rose God was not kind, and there are two episodes of The Bachelor this week. Before we get started, I want to go over two things. Firstly, like I said in a comment to my last post, I have been going over the footage of Peter slicing his forehead open in a golf cart incident like it’s the goddamned Zapruder film. It still makes no sense. Did he hit the glass on the roof of the golf cart? I don’t think so…but how does a glass break like that from headbutting it? Why is he holding the glass that close to his head anyway? Is his head abnormally dense? I think we know the answer to this… Click for the footage Secondly, I apologize for missing this last episode, but apparently ABC made some modesty edits to the women’s swimsuits with what appears to be MS Paint… Anyway, the episode opens in Santiago, Chile. MyKenna starts crying three seconds in because she has feelings for Peter. Victoria F calls MyKenna a “sad wet dog on the side of the road” and says her interrupting the Dreaded Rose Ceremony last episode was disrespectful. The first one-on-one date goes to Hannah Ann….